Boats And Boating

How to Get Your Man to Commit

Jenny came to visit me at Entre Nous, my Introduction Agency early in the New Year. She had recently ended a 10 year relationship with Simon. On asking why it ended she explained that he lives on a small vineyard out of town and worked in the city. “He spent week days with me in the city and I would spend weekends with him at the vineyard. We never married or became engaged.”

“There was no firm commitment; we just slid into the relationship. When Simon stopped working in the city his visits to me in the city became fewer and fewer and we just drifted apart.” I asked her did she think it would have worked if they had been married. She felt they would have made more effort to keep the relationship going if there had been a firm commitment.

Jenny and Simon’s story is not at all unusual. One of the main reasons for the lack of commitment is that women don’t ask for it. We only get out of life what we expect and demand.

We all know the demanding girl who won’t have sex until she gets the engagement ring on her finger and the wedding date set. How does she manage it when so many others are complaining that they never meet a man who wants to commit? What is her secret?

There are two keys to her success. 1. Her mother conditioned her from an early age that you must demand what you want from men and not settle for less. 2. She had a high self image – she believed in herself and had the courage of her convictions. A woman doesn’t have to be beautiful, slim, sexy, highly educated or wealthy.

None of those excite a man as much as the challenge. Men love a challenge. The more he has to yearn for something the more he wants it. How does a man fall in love? It is his yearning that causes him to fall in love.

Unless he is allowed to yearn he never really falls in love. If she makes it very easy for him he won’t value the relationship enough to commit, to make it permanent.

I have been told on many occasions (in my capacity as consultant at Entre Nous Introduction Agency) by men, “I never really fell in love, we started dating, then lived together and eventually had children but I was never really in love with her”.

Why are women so obliging, making it easy for men? Her mother did not teach her how to keep him keen by demanding what she wanted. Her parents did not give her the confidence to be able to demand what she wanted. Of course this must not stop a woman. Old habits can be broken and have been by many women who have come to us as late as 40 years of age wanting to marry and have children.

With a little coaching most women who come to us are successful no matter how late they have left their run. What do men want? Besides enjoying a challenge and valuing something they have had to work for a man likes to think his woman is beautiful. When men come to our dating service they usually ask for an attractive woman.

However if you watch the couples coming out of the theatre 90% of the women are not beautiful but I am sure each man will think his woman is beautiful. When men, who asked for an attractive woman, formed a relationship with one of our women, we may not think she is all that stunning but he does.

He will think she is beautiful because he chose her and he is in love with her. She would have allowed him to think she is beautiful. How does one allow a man to think you are beautiful? I can remember my new stepmother and father at a ball when she asked him, “Who is the most beautiful woman in the room and why am I?”

I certainly did not think she was the most beautiful woman in the room; however my father was easily convinced.

A man needs reassurance, reassurance that he has made the right choice, that his woman is as beautiful as he thinks she is. How does he get that reassurance? You tell him. You don’t have to keep telling him how beautiful you are, you just have to insinuate.

Move your body with confidence like the French women do. Even if you don’t feel it act as though you are confident. A fashion photographer who was obviously a playboy once said to me, when you see women stripped off they invariably say, “My thighs are too big”, or, “My bust is too small”. He said, “Women have a bad habit of convincing me that they are not perfect when I had already decided that they were perfect. It’s so off putting.”

I was on a boat one weekend with friends. My girlfriend’s husband who was the owner was barking orders and generally appearing rather bossy. I said to him, “Is there anything I can do to help or shall I just stand here and look beautiful”. He stopped what he was doing, looked me up and down, smiled and said, “Just stay there looking beautiful”.

My father told me I was beautiful. When I compared myself with other women I wasn’t that beautiful but I knew that men thought I was beautiful. When he tells you that you are attractive believe him and whenever you have the opportunity, reinforce it so that he never forgets.

Why do women drift into relationships? She lacks the confidence in herself to demand what she wants. Many women think that she will get her man by pleasing him or trying hard. This is entirely the wrong attitude.

If a man likes a challenge why would he be attracted to a woman if she makes it too easy for him? He wouldn’t! Don’t slide into living together. Make him want to commit. Don’t give him liberties for nothing. Your body and your life are your greatest assets don’t let him test drive you.

To give your body and your life you must have what you want whether it’s marriage, an engagement ring or just a firm commitment. Whatever you want out of life remember you won’t get it unless you demand it.

In fact if you offer merchandise free of charge everyone wants to know what’s wrong with it and he will think that too if you don’t value yourself. In fact if you don’t value yourself how can you expect him to value you?

For more information see other articles by Rosalind Baker on www.articlesbase.com and Rosalind’s website www.singles.net.au

About the Author

Rosalind Baker’s professional commitment to ‘match making’ is well into its second decade, although she has always possessed that innate ability to pair people off. She even introduced her ex-husband to his next wife!
Having established Entre Nous: Relationship Consultants & Educators in 1991 she has now lost count of the number of relationships the organisation has helped to establish.
While there have been many ‘fly-by-night’ introduction agencies over the past two decades in Melbourne, Entre Nous has stood the test of time. This is due, in no small part, to the professionalism and passion of Rosalind Baker.
She has written three best sellers. The first, ‘Dial A Woman’ offers advice to Australian men on how to choose the right partner and then maintain a successful relationship.
The obvious sequel, ‘Dial A Man’ advised women on how to recognise and attract the man of their dreams. While writing her third book, ‘Dial a Personality’, she realised she had discovered the successful formula for matching couples.
As a journalist Rosalind has written extensively on social affairs and women’s issues and is a well-known social commentator on courtship.
Rosalind has been the delegate representing Australian and New Zealand at the International Institute of Introduction Services.
She is a keen follower of the Arts and supports Opportunity International.
She had four children and with her new husband, Tom Baker, they now have 11 grandchildren between them.

The Bankes Boats Revolution 2 Man Layout Boat as seen on Ducks, Dogs & Decoys TV